100 Ways to Praise Your Child

A friend had a list like this one pinned up in her kitchen.  I found some similar ideas online.  I love being able to catch my child being good, and the way her face lights up when I say some of these things.

Wow • You’re on target • Way to go • Excellent • You’re special • Neat work
You are fun • You’re a real trooper • I like your attitude • Super star • Good effort
Looking good • You brighten my day • Top work • Well done • You’re a treasure
That’s very thoughtful of you • Outstanding performance •Let me give you a kiss
You’re fantastic • I knew you could do it • What an imagination • Good teamwork
I’m so proud of you • You’re a legend • You’re on top of it • You’re catching on
How smart • Now you’ve got it • Good job • You are so clever • That’s incredible
You are just delightful • That’s beautiful • You’re a winner • You make me laugh
You make me happy • It’s nice being with you • Dynamite • Hip, Hip Hooray
Magnificent • Beautiful sharing• You’re important • Great job • You’re the best
You’re on your way • Exceptional performance • You’re spectacular • I’m impressed
You are a darling • Beautiful work • Good for you • Bravo • You are exciting to watch
You’re so precious • Fantastic job • Great discovery •You’re a champion • Awesome
Marvellous • You are very responsible • Terrific • Nothing can stop you now
You’re growing up • You tried hard • You figured it out • Remarkable job• You’re A-OK
You’re unique • What a good listener • That’s really nice of you • You inspire me
You mean a lot to me • You’re a good friend • You deserve a big hug • That’s super
You are an absolute gem • You’re incredible • Now you’re flying • That’s really creative
That’s correct • Phenomenal • Hooray for you • Great work • You’re very caring
You made my day • You mean the world to me •You’ve discovered the secret
You’re a joy • You did that really well •You’re my buddy • I trust you • That’s perfect
Keep up the good work • You’re wonderful • I like you a lot • You’re sensational
I like the way you did that • Thank you for helping me • I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Farewell to the breastpump

Yesterday I sold my breast pump. It was only a little one, not like the double-pumper I hired from KEMH while Talia was in the nursery, but it kept me company on many an evening in front of the TV when I was trying to increase my supply. In tribute to those days, here’s an old post I wrote in March 2008 for the L’il Aussie Prems blog.

Good to the last drop

The bottom drawer of our freezer (we have an “upside-down” fridge) belongs to Talia. It’s full of plastic tubs containing ice-cube-sized portions of stewed fruit, mashed veg, pulverised chicken, flakes of fish in cheese sauce etc. Wedged in the middle of this oyster of solids was a little pearl - the last remaining bottle of my frozen expressed breast milk (EBM).

I’ve rambled at length about the ups and downs of milk production. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. I wanted to do more, but now I’m happy that I did as much as I could. If I had to do it all over again, I would. So what’s the story with this bottle of EBM? Talia stopped breastfeeding exclusively last October, and ceased completely at the end of January. It’s now the end of March. This bottle of liquid gold was dated 21/6/07 - the day before Talia came home from hospital. This bottle of milk has reigned, happy and glorious, over the bottom drawer of the freezer for NINE months, as one by one all the other bottles (older) and baggies (younger) of EBM were defrosted and used up. (Don’t worry, my freezer is cold enough that it was safe to keep it longer than the usually recommended three months). This bottle was a testament to my hours of expressing but also a life-line which I had clung to for months in case of emergency, but which was no longer needed now that Talia is healthy and happy with formula and solids.

So last Thursday, a week after Talia’s first birthday, I liberated this vintage bottle from its cryogenic home and defrosted it. On Saturday, Talia’s bottles were half formula and half EBM, the final instalment of my first gift to her. It doesn’t usually happen, but she completely finished every bottle. That night we both went to sleep satisfied.

2 years since we brought you home

Last week we passed the second anniversary of your homecoming from hospital, two days after your due date.
I was simultaneously delighted to get you home and terrified because you’d only been tube and wire free for 2 days of the last 95. And I’d had almost no sleep the night before in the parent craft room. I think our first priority after getting you in the door was to make a large coffee.

You weighed 3.27kg, enormous compared to your original 855g. It was Friday and that night we said a special blessing to celebrate your survival and our first night at home together.

Happy 2nd unbirthday

Last weekend marked the second anniversary of Talia’s due date - June 20.  (She arrived March 20.)

It says a lot about how far she has come that I didn’t even think about it much in advance. Last year I felt quite emotional and made a cake.  This year things were pretty busy and then I looked at the calendar and it just dawned on me that this was the date.

So here she is 2 years ago - at “term” despite being 3 months old.  She gained loads of weight in hospital and was 3kg when this photo was taken.

And last year - 15 months old, 12 months corrected.  She struggled to gain weight after leaving hospital, and at her 1 year review was assessed as being delayed in all areas of her development.  (Still very cute though!)

And this year, 27 months old, 2 years corrected.  Her weight gain has improved, her development has caught up, and she is a delight.  We are very blessed.

95 days later

Last night on a parenting forum I came across a post from the mother of a little boy who had been in hospital for 95 days - exactly the same length of time as Talia - and who had now just passed the milestone of having him home for 95 days.

It took me straight back to the same moment in my life, and I went and found the blog entry I wrote for the L’il Aussie Prems website at that time (my first blog post ever, before I had a website of my own).  Here it is.

95 days later

By Finisterre on September 29th, 2007

We celebrated a special family milestone this week: following 95 days in neonatal hospital care, our prematurely born daughter Talia passed her 95th day at home.

191 days before this milestone, I was a different person. Walking with blind faith through a seemingly ordinary first pregnancy, I knew nothing about prematurity, had never heard of CPAP or NEC or ROP, wouldn’t have known a bradycardia from the Brady Bunch, and had never experienced the indescribably gut-wrenching fear of losing a child almost before its life had properly begun.

Today I am the mother of a petite, smiling daughter who should only be three months old, not six. Looking back on the extra three months of daily hospital visits, I remember urging my little scrap of humanity to survive, anxiously checking for any gain in her weight, increase in her milk intake or improvement in her breathing, and I realise just how much further families of prem babies need to travel in order to arrive at the same place as families with healthy full term babies. It is an emotional journey on rough roads through strange territory, navigated via heart-rate and oxygen monitors, and not a few prayers. This neonatal landscape has changed us forever, left its shadow on our hearts, and opened our eyes to fears and wonders never before encountered.

After 95 long days, one journey finished and a new one began. We have been blessed twice over, both with the life of our child and with all we have experienced and learned about her incredible survival.

And here’s the munchkin at that age: